Reading out aloud can be so funny

Does anyone else have parents who correct their speech – even though you are a parent yourself and in your 40’s?

Well, I’ve (sorry mum, I have) taken it for granted for all of my life, and of course, because I am my mothers daughter have carried on the tradition with my children.  “Not me and Pad, but Pad and I” etc....

It is normal behaviour, so after leaving two of my fold with my mum, whilst accompanying my eldest for an appointment, I was not surprised to find, on my return, the household in pieces after a  “reading out loud” session by my youngest, Pad.

He was interested in the smelly plant that had just opened at Kew Gardens.  He mispronounced the Latin name, Amorphophallus titanium, and was duly corrected by my mum, his nanna.  When reading the modern interpretation of the Latin name, he pronounced it “giant mis happen pen- is.  To the horror of his teenage sister, Nanna once again corrected him and said “No Pad, it is pronounced giant misshapen penis”.

Now we all know that nine year old boys like nothing better than complete toilet humour.  If they can get away with saying bum, fart, snot etc then it really makes their day.  Imagine – the ecstasy of having to repeat the word penis properly, IN FRONT OF YOUR NAN! Well, Pad has an even better respect for his Nanna now.  He thinks that she is really cool!  By the way - Nanna did comment on what a wonderful and expressive reader he was - another pat on the back for home ed I feel.

Footnote:  I’ve (sorry).  I have just now got to work out how I can stop him dropping the word, penis, into everyday conversation. 

Thanks mum x

Apocalypse and the Mexican Wave

There’s something to be said for an early rising 9 year old, who is resigned to the fact that the BBC news is on TV until 7.29am, and then Bliss!  The new Pokémon episode can be watched, enjoyed and re enacted throughout the day with an assortment of soft toys and siblings.  However, yesterday he was caught up in the news of apocalyptic disaster.  Pokémon could wait (until the replay an hour later).  Pad was beside himself.  Enter, side left, concerned and reassuring parent.  “Of course the world was not going to end”.  “No, the elderly man on the television was not a psychic and couldn’t predict the end of the world”.  “Yes, Mummy did really say that the gentleman should be shot for scaremongering”; “No Mum didn’t really mean to say shot, because that would be bad - just really, really told off”!  Tears wiped away by mum, snot wiped away by sleeve of Pad and all was calm.  One sniff later - “Dr Who is on at 6.45pm, and if the world ends at 6pm I would miss it”

I love my kids priorities.

Like today, I wanted to bring in the washing.  Fabulous warm and windy day and all three of their dressing gowns were on the clothes line.  Throw away remark over lunch about bringing washing in was met by three “No’s”.  Apparently, when the wind caught them just right, it looked like an upside down Mexican wave.  No answer to that – suffice to say, washing was left hanging until slightly damp at dusk.